


truth must dazzle gradually

by possibilityleft



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Advice, Female Friendship, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possibilityleft/pseuds/possibilityleft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Mon Mothma gave Leia Organa advice, and the one time that she took it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	truth must dazzle gradually

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spookykingdomstarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookykingdomstarlight/gifts).



> They might not need me; but they might. I'll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity.  
>  \--Emily Dickinson

**1.**

Mon Mothma had always wondered about Leia Organa. She would never have asked, not after the chaos of the end of the Republic, not after attending Padme Amidala's funeral. But she wondered, just the same, seeing the way that the child raced around the palace, commanding her imaginary troops. She was a blur of bright braids, her father's pride and greatest frustration. Mon Mothma understood that this was what parenting was like, and no matter the child's blood, Bail raised her well.

It was strange for Mon Mothma to see her in the Senate halls. Had she really been Senator so long that the next generation was coming up around her? She remembered being as young and passionate as Leia and recognized the stiffness in Leia's limbs, the defiance in her jaw, as she addressed the Tortugan delegate, arguing her point. Mon Mothma was probably the only one who caught the tremble in Leia's hands, which she was clutching tightly to her side.

She caught up with Leia after the session ended. The point that Leia had been arguing had been lost hours ago in the bureaucracy that the Senate pretended was power, a footnote in the records. That was the fate of most bills and amendments that a Senator brought forward, and it had been even when the Empire had been a republic.

"You'll need this," Mon Mothma said, pressing a fruit into Leia's hands. It was something orange from an outer planet, slightly bitter but very filling to humanoid biology. Leia's fingers worked at the rind, nails fighting for an edge.

"I always have something tucked into my bag for these long sessions," Mon Mothma confided. "It helps, trust me."

"Thanks," Leia said. She was quiet, peeling the fruit and possibly, Mon Mothma thought, unsure how to address a woman she knew as her father's long-time friend and colleague when she herself was now a colleague.

"See you tomorrow," Mon Mothma said, and she did -- every day until the session ended, Leia stood up and fought for reforms and edits and a strength the Senate would never have again.

She was always bolting for the cafeteria afterwards, though, too busy or preoccupied to remember to bring food to the meetings. Or, Mon Mothma thought, perhaps her bag was just too full of paperwork -- when Leia had waved around the Senate charter yesterday, Mon Mothma wondered when she'd last seen the document, and on a flimsy no less. She'd swallowed the mouthful of nuts she was chewing on, and raised her voice to vote yes on the measure.

The starved passion worked for Leia. Mon Mothma would leave that tactic to the young people.

*

**2.**

Mon Mothma suspected that Leia had been trying to get involved in the Rebellion pretty much from the moment she'd discovered it, but even for Bail's daughter, these things took time. There was too much at stake to move quickly bringing in new people. They'd nearly been destroyed before when they hadn't vetted a candidate closely. Some of Mon Mothma's dearest friends were still in prison as a result.

They were working on a very long game. Sometimes Mon Mothma thought it might be easier to wait until Palpatine's inevitable death. Other times, she wondered how inevitable it was. She'd never been closely involved with the Jedi, but she knew they had had all kinds of strange powers. A man not constricted by morals would doubtlessly have even more resources.

Leia concealed her impatience well as they weaved their way through the Senate gardens, meandering slowly towards the designated meeting place. They only used it when first bringing someone into the fold, in case they were immediately compromised. It was an out-of-the-way conference room, maintained by droids but rarely used by anyone, and someone would have arrived early to stake their claim and sweep for listening devices. Leia didn't know where they were going, but she didn't protest or fidget as Mon Mothma led her past plants and bushes on carefully manicured paths, pointing out flora about to bloom, and encouraging Leia to lean in and smell others.

But finally they had arrived -- right on time, in fact. Before opening the door, Mon Mothma paused, resting a hand gently on Leia's shoulder.

"Give them time," she said, glancing toward the small group she knew was gathered behind the door. "They won't trust you immediately. Don't be offended."

"I remember what it was like the first time in the Senate," Leia said, and she smiled at Mon Mothma. Mon Mothma did not point out that Leia's first time had been only a couple months prior. She just smiled back.

But after the door swung open, Leia was quick into the thick of the conversation. She stood at least a head shorter than most of the other conspirators, but they leaned in to listen to her. She fought as bitterly here as she did in the Senate, and it didn't take long at all for the others to begin to nod and agree. It astonished Mon Mothma. They hadn't done a "diplomatic mission" like Leia was suggesting in a long time -- years, perhaps. Their recent focus had been on constitutionally limiting the Emperor's power.

Her youthful fire spread among the group and Mon Mothma watched it happen, watched her excitement catch and flare.

For the first time in a long time, hope welled in her chest as well.

*

**3.**

Mon Mothma didn't feel Alderaan die. She heard about it hours later, when the intelligence came in from one of their Imperial spies. The notation on the missive stated that it had been confirmed by a daring pilot who had navigated into the system and was immediately forced to flee the enormous cloud of debris. There was no communication with any ships that had been in the system at the time of the explosion, and those ships were presumed lost. It didn't seem that anyone in the vicinity had escaped the blast, which had come with no warning. The source had yet to be discovered.

Mon Mothma knew what it had to be: the weapon that they had been searching for.

She had to sit down for a moment, her head ringing with the thought that it could have been her planet, could have been her wives and husband and children gone in a heartbeat, aunts and uncles, mothers, father, cousins, all of the people who had elected her Senator and those who had opposed her: kin or not, they could all be gone. She hadn't seen her family in person in over a year, hadn't even spoken to them in real-time for months. All she had were the letters that were picked up from the Rebels' dead drop once a month. But at least she had those. Leia now had none of that. Her father was gone, and her mother -- some of Mon Mothma's dearest friends, but it was nowhere near the same. 

Of course, Leia was likely dead as well. Her ship had ceased communicating hours ago, and the plans she'd fought so hard to find were likely among the debris.

Mon Mothma stood up again, the moment past her, and began ordering the surveillance and study that they were going to need to fight the great weapon. It did exist, it had been built, and now it must be destroyed at all costs. She would do nothing less for Alderaan, already becoming a war cry instead of a planet, a legend instead of a home. 

Sometime after they blew up the Death Star, Mon Mothma suggested that Leia take a little time off. They could have a service for her father and the others. There were likely other expatriates who would be thrilled to know their princess lived. 

Leia said she was too busy; there was so much still ahead. But she did accept Mon Mothma's condolences, her momentary brush of a hand. Mon Mothma watched her rush off to another meeting, her shoulders high, and the anger in her boiling towards the inevitable fight. 

*

**4.**

The Republic didn't stand on formality, at least among close allies. Still, most people would have knocked before bursting into the chancellor's office. Mon Mothma glanced up sharply, her fingers just pausing on the panic button under her desk. There had been several attempts on her life already from Empire loyalists. But she didn't need her guards. Leia Organa stood before her, eyes blazing, and even though Leia was upset, she wouldn't hurt Mon Mothma.

"What do you mean, 'no evidence of resurging Empire'? De-militarization? Retiring older ships in the fleet?"

"I thought it was pretty clear," Mon Mothma said. She rested her hands on the top of her desk and resisted the urge to rise so she could more easily meet Leia's eyes. She knew this proposal wasn't going to pass easily. She'd anticipated this conversation. She was going to put her authority behind it while she had it.

"We _know_ we didn't catch all of the high-ranking officers. We're still occasionally getting reports from Rim planets about Imperial operations that apparently continue quite fine even with the head cut off. We need more troops, not less!"

There were no chairs in front of the chancellor's desk, so Leia couldn't sink into one, sighing and rubbing at her forehead. But Mon Mothma could see it in her head; she'd seen Padme do it so many times before, although Padme had of course been arguing the other side. It was a world that Leia hadn't grown up in, and one she never asked about, so Mon Mothma said nothing.

"The operations we're finding now are very small scale. They're easily dissolved, and in most cases the locals are glad to offer troops and assistance when they understand that the Empire has been disbanded. As for the officers, what is an officer without her men? They're running scared, and they won't quit running until they're a long way away," Mon Mothma said instead. She'd said much the same thing in her brief, which she knew Leia had read, but sometimes it was helpful to hear the words in person.

"And the First Order? Do you think they're just going to walk away?"

Mon Mothma was quiet for a moment -- too long, perhaps, but she had known Leia for a long while. Leia waited. Finally, the chancellor spoke.

"Leia, you've been fighting the Empire your entire life. Do you think it's possible that you just don't know what to do when you don't have someone to fight anymore? Take a break. You keep talking about visiting Naboo, showing Ben your heritage. The Senate's next session doesn't start for another month."

"My heritage exploded twenty years ago, Chancellor," Leia said coldly, and she turned and left.

Leia's resignation was on Mon Mothma's desk the next day.

It took almost two years before Mon Mothma decided to follow, but when she did, Leia had a place for her, and she brought all the intel she could get.

*

**1.**

The older she became, the less that Mon Mothma felt she needed to sleep. There was just too much to do, but that being said, she wasn't accomplishing any of it. She was drinking tea and thinking about all that they had lost in their destruction of Starkiller Base. Han Solo, Ello Asty, R1, the other pilots, more ships than they could afford… She had celebrated with the rest, and she'd felt the same relief, but while most of her colleagues had staggered off to bed on the high of their success, she had simply retired to her quarters.

She didn't begrudge them their happiness. They would wake the next morning and remember all those they had lost, and not just because of the extensive toasting they'd done in the name of the fallen. The lost would be missed, and their sacrifices honored. Mon Mothma would record the messages to the families herself, sending trusted pilots to deliver them. That would not bring them back. The number of people that Mon Mothma had sent to their doom would fill D'Qar Base. If Mon Mothma looked up from her tea, she might see their faces around her -- none resentful, so she imagined, which almost made it worse.

She rose from her seat and left her quarters. She found Leia in the command room, with her protocol droid fretting over her -- the older one, who was offering her food, water, and assistance to her quarters, his voice worried. He was more battered than he had been when Padme kept him, and perhaps more paranoid, but sometimes Mon Mothma found his presence comforting -- after all these years, he was still here.

"Why don't you go catch up with Artoo?" Leia said, sighing, without looking up at her droid. "I'm sure you have plenty to talk about."

"Artoo is receiving a full briefing from Beebee-Ate," Threepio said, although his tone was somewhat disapproving; clearly he would have preferred to do the briefing himself. "I will of course need to fill in the gaps afterwards, but my primary loyalty is to you, Mistress Leia. I wouldn't leave you alone here."

"She's not alone," Mon Mothma said, and Leia started, looking up and then offering Mon Mothma a weary smile.

"There, you see, Threepio. Go on now. You need to recharge," Leia said, tone firm.

"Yes, ma'am," the droid said, leaving reluctantly. When the door shut behind him, Mon Mothma sat down next to her longtime friend and coworker. No one had bothered to close down the screens after their success -- hiding was no longer as much of a priority. The lights and colors played over their faces, the machines humming a little to themselves. The room felt very empty beyond their little circle.

"What are we doing tomorrow, General?" Mon Mothma asked.

"Non-essential personnel get a week's leave. Funeral planning. Start working on the messages to the remaining Republic planets to see where the government is going to be moved. Figure out who we're sending on the mission to find my brother," Leia said, after just a moment's consideration, but then she rose and paced across the room. Mon Mothma could see her hands clenched into fists. She looked so tired.

"Try to guess which member of my family the Dark Side will take next," she continued, her voice rising. "Try to figure out why my brother _abandoned_ me when I needed him, why he's never come back. Try to figure out what I'm going to do for Chewbacca. He's a mess." Mon Mothma said nothing when Leia wiped a tear from her eye. "Try to figure out what I did wrong. What I keep doing wrong. Why do I bother, Mon Mothma?"

"Why do any of us?" Mon Mothma answered, surprising herself a little. She rose and crossed the room to stand beside Leia, but she didn't reach out to touch her. Leia hated people touching her when she was mad. The only one who could get away with it was Han, and that was half because he still loved to annoy her.

"Do you remember what you told me, all those years ago when I said I was going to change the galaxy?" Leia asked quietly. Mon Mothma searched her memories, thinking of Leia's defiant eyes, the only things that had never faltered or changed in her since her youth.

"You have, you know," Mon Mothma said, because the memory Leia was accessing just didn't come to her own mind, and because it was true.

"You said, 'Small steps,'" Leia said. "That's what it takes."

Mon Mothma remembered it then. Leia had been very young -- perhaps six. Mon Mothma was visiting Bail to discuss a measure he was hoping to propose in the Senate, and she was assisting him with writing up the documentation. Leia had whirled by with a toy sword in her hand, screaming in childish joy, "I'm going to be a Senator and change the world! And bedtime!"

She'd collided hard with Mon Mothma's knees, and Mon Mothma had helped her to her feet. It had been a long while since Mon Mothma's children had been so young, and she'd found herself smiling at the memory.

"Small steps," she'd said to Leia then. "Ask your dad for bedtime first."

"Okay," Leia had answered her with a child's solemness. Then she'd run off again, chasing after her friends, and Mon Mothma had watched her go, her hair flowing out behind her, already long and darkening.

In the command center, Mon Mothma laughed to herself a little.

"I'm surprised you remember that," she said to Leia. Leia smiled back.

"He moved my bedtime by half an hour, _and_ then I began studying to become a Senator," Leia answered. "I remember."

"I'm glad it helped," Mon Mothma said.

"You always help," Leia protested. "What would this Rebellion be without you?"

"I suspect it would be in capable hands," Mon Mothma answered, "despite our recent setbacks. It sounds like we have a busy day ahead… I'm going to turn in." The exhaustion was heavy on her now, and she could use a few hours escape from consciousness to clear her head.

"I'll meet you here at 0800," Leia said, and waved as she crossed the room to the door. There wasn't a spring in her step, for sure, and the next day would likely be just as hard as this one had been. But she and Leia would both be there to begin the rebuilding process.

Maybe Leia would take some more of Mon Mothma's advice, even.


End file.
